Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize