are you still at the devil's house?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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