Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
