is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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