I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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