I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
