In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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