If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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