I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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