At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
