ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
