Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You just made me feel so damn special
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
