just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
