it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
