My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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