I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
