best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize