Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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