everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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