i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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