The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize