i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
