dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize