Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
