We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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