Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
