whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
