Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize