Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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