i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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