I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
