cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
