I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Randomize
