I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
