Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
