i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
