I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
