Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize