question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize