Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His nipple licking is glorious
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