once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
