I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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