I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
