How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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