last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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