She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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