I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
