...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want to make out with him forever
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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