I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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