How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
