He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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