You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
