just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This baby is an asshole
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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