I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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